Mother of sexually abused girl shares devastating experience
A mother whose daughter was sexually abused has spoken about the devastating aftermath of discovering her child’s ordeal.
A Lincolnshire Police spokesperson said the force was ‘deeply honoured to share the honest reflections of a mother who has faced one of the most devastating realities a parent could ever imagine — the sexual abuse of her child’.
“Her words serve as a powerful reminder to all parents: listen closely, even to the smallest voices,” continued the spokesperson.
“Amid the rush of daily life, it’s easy to overlook subtle signs or dismiss fleeting comments. But children often speak in whispers, and those whispers can carry profound truths. Her message would be pause, pay attention, and follow up.”
To protect her child’s legal right to lifelong anonymity the mother is also unnamed.
“She spoke with us about how everything changed after her daughter’s disclosure — how life, perspective, and priorities were forever altered, and how their family were supported by the professionals they encountered along the way.”
The mother’s words are in blue below.
For almost two years, my daughter had to answer questions from strangers – questions that no child should ever have to hear, let alone understand. She is still so young, so innocent, and she doesn’t yet fully grasp the horror of what has happened to her.
But she remembers.
She talks about things that make my stomach turn. She brings up moments in ways that make it clear it’s still with her. And as her mother, I know that one day, the full reality of what happened will come to the surface. I dread that day – because I know it will break her. And it will break us as a family all over again. That knowledge is a burden I carry every day. The full extent of the trauma hasn’t yet touched my daughter, yet it’s rippled through all of us. As a family, we’ve been doing our best to survive something that has torn us apart from the inside.
“For me personally, it’s been devastating. There are days I feel like I’ve failed her – like I should have somehow known or seen what was happening. I’ve questioned everything about myself as a parent.
It’s hard to put into words the shame, the helplessness, the deep discomfort that brings. I am just glad I listened to my daughter and followed up on what she told me – I’d encourage parents to report instances of concern, for the Police to review, because what’s being conveyed may initially seem like a living nightmare and utterly unbelievable.
This pain will never fully go away. We live with it every day as a family. And as for my daughter, she will carry this for the rest of her life.
“The person who did this didn’t just take my daughter’s innocence, he obliterated our trust, our safety, and a piece of who we were.
I am enormously thankful to the team of professionals who dealt with our case - they were outstanding: from our initial contact with Social Services, to the first interviews conducted with my daughter – everyone was very supportive, clear about the process, and dealt with my child in a way that was so comforting from a mother’s perspective.
The officer in charge of the case, Detective Constable Sarah Oliver from Lincolnshire Police’s Protecting Vulnerable Persons Unit, was very thorough, incredibly supportive, and she really understood the gravity of the situation from the outset. As a result, it became very evident during the trial that, from start to finish, the investigation was carried out meticulously – Sarah went above and beyond to get the justice my daughter deserved. The lady who carried out the initial interviews with my daughter was also a true professional in the way she allowed my daughter to voice her experience.”
Detective Superintendent Kam Mistry, Head of Protecting Vulnerable Persons Unit, said: “We are incredibly grateful to this parent for sharing her powerful message, and indeed experience, which courageously demonstrates that survivors and their families are not 'witnesses in a process’, but central figures whose voices matter.
“We are steadfast in our commitment to walking with them throughout the process, building credibility and confidence as they enter the judicial process.”
If you or anyone you know has been the victim of sexual assault, rape, or any other sexual offence it is important to report it to police as soon as possible.
Even if you’re not 100 per cent sure officers want to hear from you so that they can make sure you’re safe.
If you’re not ready to talk to the police just yet follow this link - Support for victims of rape and sexual assault | Lincolnshire Police (www.lincs.police.uk) to find out what other organisations can help and support you.